I have to wonder if I just dreamed the last few days.

Yesterday, I dueled with my father, and well...I had to lose. I mean, obviously...I wasn't going to because...who wants to lose? It was embarrassing! Really, really embarrassing. After meeting with Guinevere in the tent I decided that I'd fight at my full skill and let the result fall where it would. It's the knightly thing to do after all.

But well...it's not like when I was a child and I used to dream of going up against my father and winning - Morgana's father used to let me win, it took me forever to figure that one out. But yes, Father would never fight with me, he took duelling seriously...VERY seriously. Which I suppose makes sense when you consider Uncle Tristan.

But anyway, I was out there on the tournament field and more than able to defeat him, not that he wasn't good - I have to make that clear, even if no-one reads this. It's not as if he was absolutely useless out there. Frankly I think I made a rather good showing of losing without...losing obviously.

And of course he was insufferable about it. Honestly! The gloating that man can do! If there was a tournament for that he'd win hands down.

It didn't help that about five minutes after 'losing' I realised the rather unpleasant fact that Father was to fight in the final. Who was he going to be up against? It was either this rather talented knight from the East or...I'm not sure who he was, a boy from the country, Billy, Willie? I wasn't paying attention really. On the face of it I thought, Father's chances would be better with the boy, I mean, he's was all scrawny, reminds me of Merlin really. But then again, he HAD killed someone in the tournament.

Anyway, scrawny or not, this Billy or Willie or whoever, is very impressive, really, if I'd been able to get hold of him afterwards I would have invited him to join the guards.

He lost though, I think it was just brute strength that got Father through, skilled fighter or not someone as scrawny as that didn't really have a hope.

So! Father is the Champion, for another ten years...and if he decides to compete next time, I'm not going to show him any mercy.

And he knows it, because he knows I lost purpose. Really, I didn't think he would he was so busy gloating (really it was embarrassing to watch), but no.

I was expecting him to...well...I don't know, tell me off? Go on how disappointed in me he was? But no...he was grateful! Actually GRATEFUL that I hadn't embarrassed him. I've never seen Father grateful before.

And he told me he'd watch my training, through all the years...I never knew. I thought he didn't even care. But he knew everything about it, every little thing. I can't believe he never bothered to tell me! I don't even...

So yes... very strange...

And then it got stranger, because this...Nexus likes to hit a person when them down.

I ran into a very familiar lady, but not familiar...Because I'd never seen her before.

She was me of course, a FEMALE me, why does this sort of thing happen? It's disturbing!

But not as disturbing what happened next, oh no, I'll probably have nightmares about that...I ran into Merlin. But not as I know him. He was an HER!

I don't even...

A girl Merlin...I mean...I've told him that before, but...it's quite different seeing him, her like that.

I'll never dream peacefully again...possibly...

The Great Tournament Quarter Finals begin in just half an hour and Arthur is pacing in his tent, fortunately his father isn't there (sharing at tent with your next competitior is just a little too awkward...) so it's clear for Guinevere. He'd sent her a message and he's sure if she can, she will be here.

If she doesn't come though, he doesn't know how he's going to get through this duel.

Father I mean, of course I'd get through the first few rounds.

I couldn't be sure that Father would, even if competitors were going easy on him...which incidentally not all would do, some are from kingdoms so far distant that it wouldn't really matter to them if Camelot's king was horribly injured.

And now I have to face him in the quarter finals tomorrow. If you can believe that.

I will say this (although not to his face, Father's ego can be absolutely ridiculous), he's actually very good. Better than some of the knights, and I mean fully-fledged knights, not the squires. Of course he defeated that wraith some years ago, but he's not getting any younger.

I went to see him before dinner, he was in ridiculously good spirits. Honestly, I was amazed! I haven't seen him in such a good mood in...well, ten years. He even laughed, like an actual laugh. This does not happen...Father has never been..cheery. I could even go so far as to say, well...this tournament's good for him.

All the same, I want him out of it, not that I think he can beat me...in fact that's what I'm afraid of, I'll beat him so badly he'll never live it down. I tried to convince him to do so, I mean, he's made an impact, the people were impressed and heartened and all those things, but he refused. Actually said he wasn't a coward and he could fight as well as anyone! Honestly, cowardice and skill have nothing to do with it! I don't even know how he says that with a straight face.

Finally I gave up and managed to stumble into that Nexus place.

Because I can't be the only one with a hardheaded fool for a father, can I?

has entered himself in the Great Tournament.

He wants to defend his title.

I have no words.

I don't know if even Guinevere's token can help me now.

Or so I've always said.

But that's a big fat lie.

I am nervous, especially because this is the big one...the city is bustling now, the final count is 32 and we have been spilt into two randomly chosen groups for the first round. I could be facing off against anyone, who could be using any sort of weapon. Obviously, I've known this for quite some time, but all it's still a bit...well, it's hard to be completely prepared in that case.

But as a Knight of Camelot, even being not completely prepared should be enough...at least, I hope so.

Anyway...I've just come from wandering the corridors (so much for getting in early last minute training tomorrow morning) and running into Mr. Hornblower again. He seems to moving quickly up the ladder of command in this navy of his, or maybe time is working differently for him? Who knows.

I must see Guinevere tomorrow before the tournament, call me superstitious, but I feel...well, if I don't have her token I can't possibly win. There'll be no time for arranging it through Morgana, I shall go to her house on the way to the tournament grounds and hope for the best.

And now to bed, where hopefully I won't have nightmares about being beaten in the first round!

My voice has gone back to normal! I woke up this morning to Merlin mocking me with a Hibernian accent (he's quite good at it actually) and when I told him to "Shut up", I sounded...well... like me!

I was so excited about this, that over breakfast I actually agreed to attend a council meeting today. Which was pretty idiotic, but there you have it. So today was spent in the Meeting Room listening to the old councellors drone on and on...

It is however, nice enough for the windows to be opened and while I was looking out the window I saw Guinevere walking across the courtyard. A lovely sight! I would have liked to run down to greet her, but yes, obviously it couldn't be done.

Once I finally escaped from the Council Meeting I stumbled right into one of those multiverse things. Face to face with myself except of course it wasn't myself...One of those look-a-likes. How many people out there have my face? It's rather disturbing!

I certainly hope this sort of thing doesn't happen once the tournament begins, I need my full concentration for that! Current counts puts the competitor number at 30. That will be three days of one on one duelling, I'll need to be in peak shape for it.

That being the case, I'll be going to bed early, and rising early. And of course a lot of training to be done.

I wonder if Guinevere will be able to watch me train at all...I hope so.

So...I finally managed to meet up with Guinevere (my Guinevere today) and my accent was so thick you could...I don't know what you could do, but something! All I can say is I'm lucky Father is so distracted reminencing about the tournament and that I've been able to keep out of Camelot...mostly.

Of course Merlin found out, and wasn't that just dandy? Honestly, I'm sorry I made a resolution not to throw objects at his head, because I think he deserves it right now.

Guinevere at least was nice about it, she's too good for me, really. We didn't discuss the Tournament, probably because it was difficult to make myself clear. I'll have to speak to her again (oh dear, what a shame) because, well...I hope to get a toekn from her, there's no way I can fight in this tournament without one from her.

And now, I will sleep, more training tomorrow...some of it's supposed to be with the guards and I can only pray some miracle will occur and this accent will GO. Otherwise, Leon will have to do it.

Because I'm not having the Camelot guards lose all respect for me, that would just be ridiculous.

And embarrassing...

At least I assume this is who is behind this.

I've still got the accent. In fact it might even be thicker! Pretty soon I won't be able to speak at all!

Thanks to the Guinevere I met the other day (the other one, not my one) I managed to get out of all the Council Meetings today by notifying my father of the necessity of going to check the border, with all the tournament competitiors coming and the Tournament being so distracting... Well, it'd be a rather good time for Cenred to make attacks.

As it turned out, he wasn't (frankly, I think he's rather an idiot), but it kept me from talking to anyone, except for Morgana. I've managed to avoid speaking to Merlin!

But I've also been bereft of Guinevere's (my Guinevere this time) company. This depresses me more than I can say. I'm sure even with this stupid accent she'd understand me, she always does!

I will seek her out tomorrow, accent or no accent..even though I'll need Merlin's help, of course, he better not go on about this. Otherwise...I might just enter him in the Tournament.

Speaking of which, it begins on Tuesday - which is Father's birthday in honour of the fact he's the previous champion.

So to bed, tomorrow will be filled with training! And Guinevere if I'm lucky.

Training for the Great Tournament has begun!

It was...educational to see a lot of them training today, as I've said there's no minimum requirements for the Tournament so anyone can fight. And there's quite a few who probably should have stayed at home. Really I feel sorry for them! Particularly the ones who'll have to face me.

But that's the nature of the tournament.

Merlin of course is using every opportunity to moan about the so called 'ridiculousness' of this, but that's Merlin, he seems to think anything involving a sword is a waste of time. I really should be more offended, but Merlin in a huff is a hilarious sight so I've decided I'll just let him keep on at it.

What can I say it lessens my nerves

Speaking of which, I must make sure he has all my swords sharpened properly. He's done all right with my armour, but that could just be a fluke.

For the Great Tournament are starting to trickle into Camelot. Mostly those from the continent and the far east, since it's such a long journey they usually come for a month or so. May as well make it worth it I suppose.

A few were important enough to be recieved here at court, but there are those who aren't noble as well. This really is the Tournament for all. It's a pity Gwaine won't be showing up...I suppose being banished from the kingdom outweighs the fact the tournament is supposed to be open to all.

The most exciting part of all, tomorrow the training fields are going to be busy with all these fighters from various places training. This is definitely going to prove interesting, the far easterners always have some new fighting techniques, and while they're certainly not going to provide demonstrations I'm sure I'll be able pick it up from watching.

Right, considering the importance of this tournament and the training I best be off.

And I sincerely hope that Nexus thing can't read this...

Actually hit me in the head today!

Sadly, I don't believe it was an example of how they're getting better at their jobs...actually it was more of an accident and barely hurt at all - I had my helmet on, of course, which I suppose made all the difference. It probably would have been a rather respectable blow otherwise.

I'm considering issuing a challenge to the guards to join the Great Tournament, seeing as it's open to all, I don't imagine they'll make it very far, but perhaps they won't disgrace themselves completely. Or conversely I could threaten those who don't show improvement any time soon with being made to enter. There's nothing quite so humilating as having ones rear end handed to them on a platter.

I must speak to Morgana tomorrow, if I don't see Guinevere soon I think I'll go mad.

And future!people's comments have started showing up in my book again. How does that even happen? I hope they can't read everything in here. I shudder to think! Some things a private.

Very private...

Merlin was in a fight. Merlin! My God, I'm sorry I missed it, I would have loved to see it. I mean he has been getting better at sword work (better for him I mean), but I can't imagine him throwing a punch with any sort of power or accuracy.

And he still hasn't cleaned my boots!

While I was out getting them more muddy (I'm not going to make it easy for him!) I ran into that Elboron fellow. He seemed rather more older than last time I saw him and had just recovered from a wound. I can sympathise with that!

Actually, I had a close call today, Leon almost took my eye out! Not that I can blame him for it, obviously the fualt was mine for being to slow at blocking the attack. Still, one never wants sharp objects near one's eye!

But I'll have to work on that, definitely, I certainly wouldn't want to be tripped up by something like that during the Tournanment.

Which I'll have a chance to do so tomorrow! So I better get a good night's rest.

For the Great Tournament, and it can't come soon enough!

If I didn't know better I'd think someone was telling the King Father that I enjoy these councils or someting. Perhaps this is his way of...I don't know...having father-son moments or something.

I don't even know what to think about Father anymore. He doesn't believe he's done anything wrong, it's not like I could convince him otherwise (Morgana knows this all too well...)

If nothing else, this Great Tournament will get some aggression out, because sometimes when I look at Father I just want to...

This is probably treasonous...in fact I'm sure it is...I best concentrate on something else.