Somehow, today, I managed to fall asleep during the council meeting.

And let it be said I do not snore because no-one even noticed for a good twenty minutes, possibly they were all asleep as well because Monmouth was blabbering on at the time.

I don't believe Uncle was very impressed by this behaviour, but with Samhain and the end of the harvesting season fast approaching there's been so many meetings...it's almost constant. I haven't had a chance to train with the knights for a week. Beyond that, I need to drill the guards every fortnight as well, because they need it, they'll forget how to hold a sword if I leave off too long.

And I barely manage to see Guinevere at all.

Something has to change that's all I can say.

A feast with the rulers and top knights of the kingdoms closest to Camelot...

Obviously it all goes wrong.

After running into Guinevere in that strange Nexus place I thought I would be free of any bizareness at least for a while.

I spoke too soon, obviously, because today while I was out looking for a lavender plant? Bush? Tree? I ran into that female Merlin again.

Now, I'm always calling Merlin a girl's petticoat, but really, I don't need to see him as a girl, that's just frightening.

Not to mention she's still...somehow...my servant, why would I want a girl servant?! How is that even allowed? I'd certainly have trouble sleeping if I knew a woman was going to come when morning does!

I'm sure Gwaine wouldn't mind however...

Yes... although I suppose if I ever have trouble sleeping there's a surefire cure for it.

Merlin came and woke me up, which was rather good of him. Although I thought I was ill...I can't keep up with him, I swear!

I had a very odd encounter with a Merlin today actually...earlier on. I saw A Merlin because I'm quite sure he wasn't my one. At first I just thought he was delirious. But apparently not.

It was somewhat unsettling...though nowhere near as bad as that evil Merlin...I'm never going to get over that one.

Anyway, the reports won't read themselves sadly, so I better get back to them, the delegation from Moira arrives tomorrow... I hope I can survive this. Moira and Camelot haven't had a meeting of this nature in years. I just pray they don't think just because Father is indisposed they can make unreasonable demands.

Go see Gwaine.

Best knighitng ever!

It's been a day of both.

Firstly, the weather broke overnight so the knights were finally able to train. God forbid we end up getting rusty!

Nothing quite like a training session, or the Gwaine-encouraged sheninigans that followed, which mostly involved trying to throw each other in the river. I'm pretty sure I managed to win, of course.

Unfortunately, the fun couldn't last and I found myself sitting on another Council Meeting. The Councillers are getting restless about Father's condition. They grilled Gaius unmercifully, not that it's helped much. Father is the same, neither here nor there...

It was enough to make me talk to myself, or at least I thought I was alone. Typical of events these days, I wasn't. I suppose at a time like this I could use advice...from any quarter.

But it's beginning to look more and more likely that Father will remain in the fuge...and that offical steps will have to be taken.

And I don't want official steps to be taken...

This multiverse, I get that strange Druid child - Mordred thrown at me.

But he seems to be under some sort of...misunderstanding. Quite a disturbing one, I don't even want to write it down!

But really, can't a man even go hunting in peace anymore?

I may as well have brought Merlin along!

Training today was a breath of fresh air! Although, Sir Winston's arm might be bruised for quite a while.

Of course, after that I had the displeasure of once again entering the Council Chambers, once again we've only just finished up, although we had a break a few hours ago, where I had some...interesting encounters. Seems the Nexus was in fine form today.

It certainly proved more interesting than the meeting, where my advisors were mostly speaking because they've had experience with negoating with Caerleon whereas I haven't. But I'm sure my moment is coming soon and I'm not sure I'm ready for it, I'm not exactly that sort of person...

But I can say one thing, I won't be asking Monmouth for advice, I want to get some fresh air tomorrow!

I was just going over some treaties after the council meeting today when who should just show up, but that Gage fellow, the one who looks just like me. But with a different accent, and from the future.

I haven't seen him since I helped him and friend of his with something. The trouble hasn't come back which is good, because honestly? I don't think I could deal with anything else.

I went to see Father today, he's not any better, he doesn't talk, or look you in the eye or anything...I tried speaking to him normally - Gaius has mentioned that might bring him around, but nothing...

I wish...

No, I've got more important things to do than write on in here.

Yes, today I got a chance to practice for the little tournament that'll be part of the Beltane Celebrations. Jousting! Which I'm quite sure Gwaine's never done because I bested him thoroughly.

I enjoyed myself!

I ran into Guinevere right after, I thought perhaps she might have seen the jousting. But no. She's been very busy helping bring together the actual feast bit in the Feast of Beltane.

Unfortunately after that pleasant time, I had to go back to yet another round of council meetings, honestly, no wonder Father was always so short tempered... These things just drain the joy right from your life.

I may be exaggerating a bit, I guess.

On my way back, I wandered into that multiverse thing and met that interesting fellow Mr Hornblower. He always has good advice so I decided to talk to him a bit about all this council stuff.

The more ears the better if you ask me. I have no idea how Father managed to do it mostly alone, I'm exhausted by it all, I need sleep!

Which is a disturbing way to put it, but in this case it's true!

As quickly as it happened I was back in my body today, and thank God for that. If I'd had to put up with another day of being Merlin...

The first things I did was go and see Father, sadly he was much the same...I'm quite sure he didn't notice I hadn't been visiting. Will he ever get better?

I suppose I could be expecting too much...it's only been a fortnight or so, these things take time...I hope.

Merlin was just as relieved to be himself, apparently he had as much trouble with Monmouth as I've always had! I knew it wasn't just me personally.

This, of course, is something I'll get to experience myself tomorrow at the Council Meeting. I didn't miss that particular part of things.

But now I can hold Guinevere without it feeling strange! And I actually have arm strength.

All in all, I'd much rather be me!

The Reign of Queen Morgana has ended.

The ex-Queen and her sister have disappeared from the ruins of the room that once held the Cup of Life. The immortal army is gone. King Uther is freed from the dungeon, but utterly silent, refusing to speak.

And the Prince is still thinking of the events of earlier that day.

The people of Camelot just want to forget their short-lived Queen, but Arthur won't ever forget...

The Crown Prince remains incommunicative.

Meanwhile, the people of Camelot are swiftly losing hope...

Sir Leon, Sir Ioan, Sir Edric, Sir Ulof, Sir Robert, Sir Christian, Sir Lloyd and Sir Aldric are dead.

Killed by bandits on Cenred's orders, he sent a message claiming they had incurred on his kingdom's borders. I don't believe it for a moment. It was a deliberate attack, he's trying to goad us into war.

And I'm tempted to allow him.

Fortunately, clearer heads pervail...the Council has advised strongly against such a move. With half the knights gone our army is nowhere near full strength, Cenred no doubt has his ready to fight.

I spent a good portion of the day with Guinevere, which I really think is the only way I managed to get through it all. I've known Leon my entire life, we started our training together. He managed to survive the dragon attack and now he's dead. Killed in such a common way.

I should have been there, with them. Camelot's Knights stand together. I shouldn't have let Father talk me into compromising on these patrols. If it had been a full complement, this wouldn't have happened, I'm sure of it.

Vale brave knights. Vale

Morgana and I had a fight today, which you know, isn't strange, in fact it's normal! But I don't know, she seemed...a little off.

I'm sure I'm just imagining it though, I still have no idea why she's so angry, but I figure I'll steer clear of her a bit, which shouldn't be too hard because tomorrow I'm part of the group that's going on a border patrol.

Incidentally, Father wasn't too keen on that, dangers and so forth (honestly, I find this rather odd because Father used to send me out on these missions all the time, he says I need more diplomatic practice), but I could hardly have my knights go in without me. So, as I'm sure Morgana will hear (hmpf, I'm a coward, she says!) I stood my ground and didn't back down, so I'm leading one group and Leon the other.

So there, cowardly and a pushover when it comes to Father, ha! She'll eat those words.

Although I probably won't be here to enjoy it, shame.

No sign of Cenred's men...I'm beginning to think something is definitely going on...If he thinks he can launch a surprise attack on us however, he's got another thing coming.

But upon my return, I got to experience this bizarre experience.

I'm left rather...confused by it, quite frankly. And I'm not sure what to do with this rose...

I should just go to sleep, perhaps it'll all make sense to me in the morning.

Or not...

The competitors didn't stay for long, some of them have such a long trip home I suppose it isn't too surprising. The barman at the Rising Sun was standing in the doorway looking like he'd just been punched in the gut. He tried to convince a few of us to come in for a drink or two, something about it being the only thing that would keep him from poverty.

Needless to say we did not take him up on the offer, at least not right then, I think a few of the knights might still be down there.

I meanwhile returned to the castle to find myself face to face with Vivian!

At least that's what I thought for a minute or two (and believe me, it was horrifying), but no it was a future person...and a look-a-like. I pity the poor soul who ends up with Vivian, but someone must, if she has a decendant. She was a lot nicer than Vivian I'll say that much, centuries must have fixed some of the worst traits.

After that, I found myself stumbling into the Nexus again, where I met up with April who seemed upset. I think I might have cheered her up a bit at least.

So, council meetings start up again tomorrow, which means I have hours of boredom to look forward tomorrow.

Definitely no more pagentry.

I have to wonder if I just dreamed the last few days.

Yesterday, I dueled with my father, and well...I had to lose. I mean, obviously...I wasn't going to because...who wants to lose? It was embarrassing! Really, really embarrassing. After meeting with Guinevere in the tent I decided that I'd fight at my full skill and let the result fall where it would. It's the knightly thing to do after all.

But well...it's not like when I was a child and I used to dream of going up against my father and winning - Morgana's father used to let me win, it took me forever to figure that one out. But yes, Father would never fight with me, he took duelling seriously...VERY seriously. Which I suppose makes sense when you consider Uncle Tristan.

But anyway, I was out there on the tournament field and more than able to defeat him, not that he wasn't good - I have to make that clear, even if no-one reads this. It's not as if he was absolutely useless out there. Frankly I think I made a rather good showing of losing without...losing obviously.

And of course he was insufferable about it. Honestly! The gloating that man can do! If there was a tournament for that he'd win hands down.

It didn't help that about five minutes after 'losing' I realised the rather unpleasant fact that Father was to fight in the final. Who was he going to be up against? It was either this rather talented knight from the East or...I'm not sure who he was, a boy from the country, Billy, Willie? I wasn't paying attention really. On the face of it I thought, Father's chances would be better with the boy, I mean, he's was all scrawny, reminds me of Merlin really. But then again, he HAD killed someone in the tournament.

Anyway, scrawny or not, this Billy or Willie or whoever, is very impressive, really, if I'd been able to get hold of him afterwards I would have invited him to join the guards.

He lost though, I think it was just brute strength that got Father through, skilled fighter or not someone as scrawny as that didn't really have a hope.

So! Father is the Champion, for another ten years...and if he decides to compete next time, I'm not going to show him any mercy.

And he knows it, because he knows I lost purpose. Really, I didn't think he would he was so busy gloating (really it was embarrassing to watch), but no.

I was expecting him to...well...I don't know, tell me off? Go on how disappointed in me he was? But no...he was grateful! Actually GRATEFUL that I hadn't embarrassed him. I've never seen Father grateful before.

And he told me he'd watch my training, through all the years...I never knew. I thought he didn't even care. But he knew everything about it, every little thing. I can't believe he never bothered to tell me! I don't even...

So yes... very strange...

And then it got stranger, because this...Nexus likes to hit a person when them down.

I ran into a very familiar lady, but not familiar...Because I'd never seen her before.

She was me of course, a FEMALE me, why does this sort of thing happen? It's disturbing!

But not as disturbing what happened next, oh no, I'll probably have nightmares about that...I ran into Merlin. But not as I know him. He was an HER!

I don't even...

A girl Merlin...I mean...I've told him that before, but...it's quite different seeing him, her like that.

I'll never dream peacefully again...possibly...

has entered himself in the Great Tournament.

He wants to defend his title.

I have no words.

I don't know if even Guinevere's token can help me now.

Or so I've always said.

But that's a big fat lie.

I am nervous, especially because this is the big one...the city is bustling now, the final count is 32 and we have been spilt into two randomly chosen groups for the first round. I could be facing off against anyone, who could be using any sort of weapon. Obviously, I've known this for quite some time, but all it's still a bit...well, it's hard to be completely prepared in that case.

But as a Knight of Camelot, even being not completely prepared should be enough...at least, I hope so.

Anyway...I've just come from wandering the corridors (so much for getting in early last minute training tomorrow morning) and running into Mr. Hornblower again. He seems to moving quickly up the ladder of command in this navy of his, or maybe time is working differently for him? Who knows.

I must see Guinevere tomorrow before the tournament, call me superstitious, but I feel...well, if I don't have her token I can't possibly win. There'll be no time for arranging it through Morgana, I shall go to her house on the way to the tournament grounds and hope for the best.

And now to bed, where hopefully I won't have nightmares about being beaten in the first round!