And not the sort you hear in ghost stories, actual ghosts, according to Gaius the veil between our world and the next has been torn and now beings from the afterlife are coming through and... freezing people to death.

I don't understand it either, but it's not just Gaius's word (although I have no reason to doubt it), first there was the girl from the village of Whitevale, Drea who saw them kill all she knew with her own eyes and then what I saw with the knights and Merlin just last night in the very same village.

The situation is getting worse, apparently the veil is centred on the Isle of the Blessed - which I always thought was a fairytale told to small children, but no, it's real. The creatures from the afterlife are coming from there and spreading out further and further. They will soon reach Camelot.

That is, if no-one stops them.

Which, of course, I won't allow.

I swore to protect the people of Camelot with my life and since the only way to close the veil is to go to the Isle and sacrifice a life, that is what I will do.

Father is in no fit state to rule, of course, but I'm sure...somehow...he'll find the strength he once had to rule over his people once more. And if not...Uncle will help him.

My only regret is leaving my fellow knights, and Guinevere...and even Merlin. He was a good friend...horrible servant, but good friend.

I suppose this is goodbye book. Try not to make anyone else's life as confusing as you made mine.

And lastly... why an an apple?

Somehow, today, I managed to fall asleep during the council meeting.

And let it be said I do not snore because no-one even noticed for a good twenty minutes, possibly they were all asleep as well because Monmouth was blabbering on at the time.

I don't believe Uncle was very impressed by this behaviour, but with Samhain and the end of the harvesting season fast approaching there's been so many meetings...it's almost constant. I haven't had a chance to train with the knights for a week. Beyond that, I need to drill the guards every fortnight as well, because they need it, they'll forget how to hold a sword if I leave off too long.

And I barely manage to see Guinevere at all.

Something has to change that's all I can say.

I just want to give up on Council Meetings.

( Season 4 spoilers! )

I guess all I can do is prepare myself.

Gwaine been drunk.

It's rather unkightly behaviour in all honesty, especially if he's going to stumble all over the place, but he makes such an amusing drunk I can't really punish him for it. He always seems to bounce back from it...so I can be certain he won't be skipping training tomorrow.

Today I visited Father, who is in a much better state than he was this time last week. Although that's not saying much, all it means really is instead of ranting and raving and sentencing himself to death he's silent, staring vacant eyed at...something. Sometimes he whispered something, but I couldn't make out what it was. I can't even be sure he recognised me.

At least he's eating again, thank God for small mercies.

Merlin has been in a strange mood this week...I mean stranger than usual, I'm not sure what his problem is exactly, I tried speaking to him about it today, but...well...

Maybe Guinevere can get it out of him...although when I'm with Guinevere the last thing on my mind is Merlin! But I should make a note to remember that...

So last night I had the most disturbing nightmare...it took me a while to realise that it was in fact a dream, though I would have thought that Father in a jester's hat and Guinevere planning to challenge me to a duel would have made it obvious.

But no, in fact, I didn't notice for what seemed like hours. So embarrassing.

It's not surprising I would dream of the tournament, it begins in just one week and I've hardly had any time to train. I have to get onto that first thing tomorrow, which means I should probably go to bed now.

I just pray I won't have to suffer through yet another dream...

The past two days have been exceptionally disturbing in all aspects.

And I swear if Merlin ever, ever says anything about what happened...there won't be enough hours in the day for the rotten fruit I will have thrown at him in the stocks.

Anyway, today was Guinevere's birthday, and I'm pleased to say I managed to get a lavender bush, shrub, plant for her...during my er, travels the past few days and if I may say so myself I think I really got it right this time. Despite Gwaine's less than glowing assessment of my gift, but honestly when has Gwaine ever had anything resembling taste.

Speaking of which, I encountered an...older Gwaine the other evening, I can't say the years made much of a difference in his alcohol consumption, but if it was a glimpse into the future I'm glad he's still around.

Not that I'd ever tell him that...

Gaius found Father wandering the halls of the castle tonight. This is the first time he's been out of his room in months and sadly it was not an indication that he is feeling better. In fact he was all but raving, and God only knows how many servants he ran into before Gaius got to him. I mean, yes, everyone knows that Father is...not in a very good place at the moment, but actually seeing it? That's another thing altogether.

So now I have to worry not only about the leaders of other kingdoms and what they think, but what people of Camelot think as well. At this rate when Father recovers no-one will trust him to be able to rule once more.

Speaking of the other kingdoms...the invitations have been sent, hopefully everyone will agree to show up, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do if they don't.

And I also have Guinevere's birthday to think of, the only bright spot in otherwise dreary and disheartening week.

I could use some annoying by Merlin right now...where is he? He hasn't even turned down my bed covers yet! Lazy, incredibly lazy.

A few days ago Guinevere and I were actually able to catch a few moments together. And even though she spent some of those precious moments pointing the possible dangers of my tournament idea (possible dangers for less talented knights rather), I'd give anything to be able to have that happen on a regular basis.

But since then I've been tied up so much by the council and petioneers that I've barely had time to breathe. I'm so tired I could sleep right now, except Merlin is still bustling around in here making all kinds of noise.

Speaking of Guinevere, I've been advised by Elyan that her birthday is only five days away, so now I really need to do something for her, something more than a lavander tree...bush thing.

Of course, I haven't got a clue on what that could be and I don't have anyone I can ask, I mean, what exactly could Merlin or Gaius suggest to me?

Perhaps I should cut my losses and ask Monmouth, although if I was going to do that I really should have asked more than a week out.

And Merlin's finally stopped banging around and my pillow calls.

Perhaps something will come to me in a dream...

I'm currently covered in some sort of salve given to me by Gaius.

And why? Because while I was out today attempting to get a lavender plant for Guinevere I somehow tripped and ended up in an ivy bush.

I pride myself on being the sort who doesn't somehow 'trip' that's more Merlin's style, but I suppose even the best of us can be let down by our own feet.

God help me though, I don't think Gwaine will ever let me live this one down.

He's yet to come back from night patrol, so I can comfort myself by being able to enjoy a little peace until then.

I feel like I need to do something for Guinevere, after she helped me last night - I'm afraid I got a bit...tipsy and made a complete ass of myself. (I'm sure Merlin would say business as usual).

So yes! Something for Guinevere. I'm terrible at this sort of thing, I'd ask for advice but I'm sure certain people would never let me live it down if I did.

But I have good sense...I'm sure I can come up with something.

Somehow...

And now...back to these reports...it's a never ending, I swear.

Yes, Merlin went and got some sort of illness and Gaius has confined him in the Physician's Quarters for the last few days. He has the worst timing of anyone I know. There's a huge feast coming up and he's not around to assist me! I have to use someone else and I'm not sure what Merlin has done with my room but he's definitely rearranged things. It took Boris or whatever his name was ten minutes to find my ceremonial sword.

On the upside at least Gwaine is settling in well enough. All things considered I was half expecting him to disappear after a while, he really doesn't seem like the stay around type, but perhaps I misjudged him.

I managed to spend a few moments with Guinevere today, a miracle indeed! Hmmm...one good thing about feasts, she like all the servants is required to participate so at least I'll be able to look at her for a few hours and it'll be easier to speak with her. Who would have thought it would be so difficult?

Having said that, though, I hope Merlin is back on his feet soon, this Boris hasn't brought me my evening fruit bowl. And I even reminded him nicely! Sometimes people are just useless at their jobs.

Yesterday evening while finishing up patrol, I happened to run across Guinevere.

I was hoping we could spend some time together, I mean, things are somewhat different now, with Father not caring about...anything.

But, I guess not...Guinevere was uncomfortable about it, and I suppose I don't blame her. Still, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't depressed about it. It certainly made today's Council Meeting even more of a drag than usual.

Although, I think it'd really help if Merlin was at those meetings with his offical hat. Hmmmm...that's an idea...

Yes, I finally got away from him after some three hours with precious little information. He went through about fifty books and half a dozen scrolls and a lot of mumbling and murmuring.

As far as I managed to figure out, Camelot's tournaments have always been hosted by someone in the Royal Family, except for that time Morgana did, but then she's my sister and even if she wasn't she lived in the castle most of her life. So all things considered I think I can just pick anyone who's has a long association with the palace.

Of course this is never easy...if I pick someone on the Coucil...well, I need a reson why I picked them and not someone else and they'll probably be all sorts of infighting that I can really do without.

Part of me wants to pick Guinevere! I think she would do a fine job, although she's never really cared all that much for tournaments. And it would put the nobles up in arms.

Still, tempting...very tempting.

Failing that, I could always select Merlin and be done with it. For the entertainment factor if nothing else.

Hmmm...possibilities.

Which would explain why I've had so much trouble finding her these past few days, despite Merlin giving me her schedule (with Morgana...gone she doesn't really have an offical post in the castle, which makes it hard to know where she'll pop up next). Today I finally had success, I thought we could have some strawberries together - especially after what I went through to get hold of them.

However, I found her on the verge of collaspe! I hope it's nothing serious, she said it wasn't bad enough to get Gaius involved, but I'm not sure...I'm thinking of sending him a message to go and see her tomorrow morning.

Gaius has been coming to my rescue a lot lately, I certainly haven't had to put up with Monmouth so much. It's a wonder he hasn't recieved any honours...not that I can actually think of any appropriate to give him. And of course, in order to find out if there are ones I'd have to...

Ask Monmouth.

I think I'll avoid that for a while.

Tomorrow is intensive training with the knights! I'm looking forward to it - as I'm sure they are. I have a good feelin about this.

As lon as Guinevere gets well soon...

Today I went to hunt up cherries and strawberries (yes, yes, the kitchen maids could do it, but I was looking for an excuse to escape the castle). It proved to be more difficult than one would think.

I almost ended up in the river!

I also met Morgana...little Morgana. I wanted to say something anything to stop what happens, but I don't know...what could I say anyway? It probably wouldn't even work.

I think I saw Guinevere too...little Guinevere...

And that was as bizarre as can be imagined. She didn't know me at all! It took me quite a while to recognise her as well. I think I handled it rather well...

I would just like to say I managed to get quite a number of strawberries and cherries in the end, depsite everthing. A good knight always finds a way.

I'm think I may have figured out why Father was always so quick to send me out into the forest to hunt down...whatever, there's enchantments at work out there and I keep falling under them!

Yesterday's one was particularly cruel and unusual.

Singing...

I've had rhyming, I've had that strange accent, but never have I had to deal with singing everything.

The only piece of luck? It seemed to affect everyone, so at least I didn't need to suffer by myself this time.

Thank God it wore off before we all arrived back in Camelot, because I have no idea how we would have explained ourselves.

But, I really must remember...Gwaine has quite a high range.

Apart from only being able to sing, I had a dream a few nights, a very bizarre dream... I saw Morgana, which I suppose isn't that unusual, but she...well...it seemed different, like it was actually her.

But that's ridiculous. Impossible.

Still...there's things from that dream that make me think...

I need to speak to Guinevere tomorrow. It's been two days since I've seen her after all!

Yes she does.

After last night's absolutely woeful 'discussion' (if it could be called that) with Father, just seeing her this morning made me feel better and that was before we talked!

Although sadly not even Guinevere could convince Father to return to the land of the living, at least I can't imagine she could. I would hardly want to expose her to him in his mood. In all honesty after everythiing's that happened I'm sure she'd be glad if he never recovered.

Still...I wish...

Especially with yet another Council tomorrow. On live stock again, I suppose that means I should read up on cattle numbers again.

I don't know I live with the excitement sometimes...

Just when I thought it was safe...

I briefly considered hiding in the library, it seems to work for Merlin after all. But Monmouth caught me before I could.

We're back on the grain again, I understand that the situation changes quickly, but can't it be presented in some sort of way that doesn't take half the day?

On the upside I suppose, we do get the most delicious lunch for our troubles. One of the servers were none other than Guinevere. Which I suppose if I'm honest made it all worth it.

Well, the first part the meeting at least, the second part...well, I would have needed to actually speak to her.

Maybe if I stop complaining that might happen tomorrow?

It's brilliant! Especially with the nee knights, yes, even Gwaine, show off that he is.

And I do believe I spied Guinevere watching and I'm always at my best when she is. I didn't get a chance to speak to her however, which was more than a little unfortunate.

As per the treaty with Caerleon we'll be sending some spies into Cenred to see what's going on. Aside from scattered reports on turmoil going on we don't know much. Hopefully, the spy mission will be successful and by this time next week we'll have more information.

And then, we'll hopefully know what to do...or rather I'll know what to do. Everyone seems to look to me now a days...it makes life difficult and tense.

So, it better be good news...

Seeing as the treaty talks are going so well, the feast at the end of the week will be more important than ever.

Which just makes things a hell of a lot more important. Not that I'm imagining the kitchen staff will accidentally poison everyone or a few nobles will get into a huge fight, but it needs to be pretty much perfect, because kings are sometimes impossible to please.

I'm relieved to report that Guinevere's shoes have been returned to her. In all honesty, my father would be almost rabid at this sort of thing happening, but if this is the worst a sorcerer wants to do, well...better that then something more serious.

Casting spells on Guinevere though, I can't say I have much patience for that. Guinevere's never hurt anyone in her life, if this sort of thing continues however, something will have to be done. Stupid pranks still take up time after all.

Right, more treaty talks tomorrow so I better make sure I'm well rested.