So we meet again book, I don't know why I bother writing in you, but I suppose after what happened with Merlin tonight requires recording for all prosperity as much as anything else.

Honestly, I don't know why I let him leave this castle, and I can only blame Gwaine for this, no doubt he introduced Merlin to the 'wonders' of the tavern and now I have to put up with the aftermath. He's bad enough at performing his servant duties all ready, let alone with a hang over.

Hmmm, maybe I'll get Gwaine to polish my boots tomorrow, just to teach him to stop taking impressionable idiots to the tavern.

And not the sort you hear in ghost stories, actual ghosts, according to Gaius the veil between our world and the next has been torn and now beings from the afterlife are coming through and... freezing people to death.

I don't understand it either, but it's not just Gaius's word (although I have no reason to doubt it), first there was the girl from the village of Whitevale, Drea who saw them kill all she knew with her own eyes and then what I saw with the knights and Merlin just last night in the very same village.

The situation is getting worse, apparently the veil is centred on the Isle of the Blessed - which I always thought was a fairytale told to small children, but no, it's real. The creatures from the afterlife are coming from there and spreading out further and further. They will soon reach Camelot.

That is, if no-one stops them.

Which, of course, I won't allow.

I swore to protect the people of Camelot with my life and since the only way to close the veil is to go to the Isle and sacrifice a life, that is what I will do.

Father is in no fit state to rule, of course, but I'm sure...somehow...he'll find the strength he once had to rule over his people once more. And if not...Uncle will help him.

My only regret is leaving my fellow knights, and Guinevere...and even Merlin. He was a good friend...horrible servant, but good friend.

I suppose this is goodbye book. Try not to make anyone else's life as confusing as you made mine.

And lastly... why an an apple?

He certainly knows how to make a feast awkward.

Last night was Samhain, so of course there was a feast. I've never cared for feasts at the best of times, but ever since Father's illness and Morgana's betrayal it's been even worse. For the first few months I was completely alone up there at the head table, sitting beside the empty King's Chair, trying not to notice it.

Of course, a few months ago Uncle Agravaine came so things have been less...awkward, but still.

Anyway, for once I thought the feast was going rather well, then Merlin had to make an ass of himself and faint. Actually faint, it's not as if I worked him too hard today! He barely had to do anything! And it wasn't incredibly stuffy in the hall either.

Honestly.

Still, Gaius assured us all that Merlin is fine and that he'll be up and about tomorrow, which is good...I mean I wouldn't want anything to be seriously wrong with him, aside from his general bizarre behaviour.

But fainting, really? He's such a delicate flower.

The Crown Prince has a very disturbing encounter with Merlin.

It's enough to make the Prince wonder if everyone is going mad in Camelot.

Gwaine been drunk.

It's rather unkightly behaviour in all honesty, especially if he's going to stumble all over the place, but he makes such an amusing drunk I can't really punish him for it. He always seems to bounce back from it...so I can be certain he won't be skipping training tomorrow.

Today I visited Father, who is in a much better state than he was this time last week. Although that's not saying much, all it means really is instead of ranting and raving and sentencing himself to death he's silent, staring vacant eyed at...something. Sometimes he whispered something, but I couldn't make out what it was. I can't even be sure he recognised me.

At least he's eating again, thank God for small mercies.

Merlin has been in a strange mood this week...I mean stranger than usual, I'm not sure what his problem is exactly, I tried speaking to him about it today, but...well...

Maybe Guinevere can get it out of him...although when I'm with Guinevere the last thing on my mind is Merlin! But I should make a note to remember that...

Yes, those...other mes, they disappeared as quickly as they arrived.

I'm not sure what to make of the fact I managed to keep Merlin completely unaware of their presence, honestly, I think as a servant he could do better. Still this really wouldn't have been a good time for Merlin to get professional.

Of course, having to babysit...myself for a whole day meant I didn't see Guinevere at all. Not even so much as a glimpse across the courtyard!

That situation had to be rectified today, and I'm pleased to say it was. After all, a good knight always succeeds in his mission.

Gaius told me today that Father has remained bedridden since the incident a few days ago, it's not exactly good news, but at least he isn't talking to 'ghosts'. I'm steeling myself to visit him tomorrow, I can only hope that he'll recognise me, I just don't know what to do when he doesn't recognise me or is under the impression that I'm someone else.

But then that might be too much to hope...

I'd rather not think about it.

After the high of winning the tournament (and the bizarreness that followed,ju as if what happened at the feast a few days ago - I'm a bit worried I might be hallucinating. Either that or this nexus thing is trying to drive me mad) I've had to go back to the Council Room.

Where I could have died of boredom today, really, I think it's a distinct possibility. I'm beginning to think I should have Merlin sit in on those meetings with me, if only to share the suffering. That's what a good servant does after all, share his master's burdens?

Plus the look on his face would really brighten up my day...

Possibilities...

Once again you can't depend on Merlin for anything.

No, no, I suppose I should be kinder to him, he is working rather hard, what with having to assist me in the tournament and then do all the cleaning and of course wearing that ridiculous hat. I shouldn't make him wear it, but really, it's hilarious. I need some entertainment when I'm trapped at the nightly celebratory feasts.

I suppose on the plus side, the kings and their best knights are enjoying themselves, even the two I've all ready fought and defeated.

There is an upside to all this, as I'm participating in the tournament (of course), the rest of the Council have been taking care of most of the boring negoiations. Of course I'm probably going to have to make an appearance once the tournament is over, but hopefully the other rulers will be thoroughly convinced that even if I'm not willing to declare myself regent, I'm still a force to be reckoned with.

Is basically...every chance I get for the next three days, the honoured 'guests' will be starting to arrive tomorrow, which probably means every chance I get won't be very much. Especially with Father still not much better, Gaius was hoping that a change in the weather might precipitate some change in his condition, but no luck there. So, I will have to take on all those meet and greet duties as well. There's not even Mor-

Merlin has taken to fussing over me, which is just bizarre, although it wouldn't be the first time, he seems absolutely convinced that he's supposed to be looking out for me. It's actually rather funny (and all right...maybe a bit touching) because God knows he can barely lift a sword. Still, I suppose it's the thought that counts.

All the same, I notice he hasn't bought my nightly fruit bowl in, is that too much to ask really? I have to tell him every second day it seems.

Which I best do now, maybe one day he'll learn.

The past two days have been exceptionally disturbing in all aspects.

And I swear if Merlin ever, ever says anything about what happened...there won't be enough hours in the day for the rotten fruit I will have thrown at him in the stocks.

Anyway, today was Guinevere's birthday, and I'm pleased to say I managed to get a lavender bush, shrub, plant for her...during my er, travels the past few days and if I may say so myself I think I really got it right this time. Despite Gwaine's less than glowing assessment of my gift, but honestly when has Gwaine ever had anything resembling taste.

Speaking of which, I encountered an...older Gwaine the other evening, I can't say the years made much of a difference in his alcohol consumption, but if it was a glimpse into the future I'm glad he's still around.

Not that I'd ever tell him that...

Gaius found Father wandering the halls of the castle tonight. This is the first time he's been out of his room in months and sadly it was not an indication that he is feeling better. In fact he was all but raving, and God only knows how many servants he ran into before Gaius got to him. I mean, yes, everyone knows that Father is...not in a very good place at the moment, but actually seeing it? That's another thing altogether.

So now I have to worry not only about the leaders of other kingdoms and what they think, but what people of Camelot think as well. At this rate when Father recovers no-one will trust him to be able to rule once more.

Speaking of the other kingdoms...the invitations have been sent, hopefully everyone will agree to show up, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do if they don't.

And I also have Guinevere's birthday to think of, the only bright spot in otherwise dreary and disheartening week.

I could use some annoying by Merlin right now...where is he? He hasn't even turned down my bed covers yet! Lazy, incredibly lazy.

A few days ago Guinevere and I were actually able to catch a few moments together. And even though she spent some of those precious moments pointing the possible dangers of my tournament idea (possible dangers for less talented knights rather), I'd give anything to be able to have that happen on a regular basis.

But since then I've been tied up so much by the council and petioneers that I've barely had time to breathe. I'm so tired I could sleep right now, except Merlin is still bustling around in here making all kinds of noise.

Speaking of Guinevere, I've been advised by Elyan that her birthday is only five days away, so now I really need to do something for her, something more than a lavander tree...bush thing.

Of course, I haven't got a clue on what that could be and I don't have anyone I can ask, I mean, what exactly could Merlin or Gaius suggest to me?

Perhaps I should cut my losses and ask Monmouth, although if I was going to do that I really should have asked more than a week out.

And Merlin's finally stopped banging around and my pillow calls.

Perhaps something will come to me in a dream...

It's been a busy day for the Prince.

That afternoon he discovers Merlin sleeping on his rug of all things.

And at present he remains trapped at the feast for the Mora delegates.

A Prince's work is never done!

Yes... although I suppose if I ever have trouble sleeping there's a surefire cure for it.

Merlin came and woke me up, which was rather good of him. Although I thought I was ill...I can't keep up with him, I swear!

I had a very odd encounter with a Merlin today actually...earlier on. I saw A Merlin because I'm quite sure he wasn't my one. At first I just thought he was delirious. But apparently not.

It was somewhat unsettling...though nowhere near as bad as that evil Merlin...I'm never going to get over that one.

Anyway, the reports won't read themselves sadly, so I better get back to them, the delegation from Moira arrives tomorrow... I hope I can survive this. Moira and Camelot haven't had a meeting of this nature in years. I just pray they don't think just because Father is indisposed they can make unreasonable demands.

Yes, Merlin went and got some sort of illness and Gaius has confined him in the Physician's Quarters for the last few days. He has the worst timing of anyone I know. There's a huge feast coming up and he's not around to assist me! I have to use someone else and I'm not sure what Merlin has done with my room but he's definitely rearranged things. It took Boris or whatever his name was ten minutes to find my ceremonial sword.

On the upside at least Gwaine is settling in well enough. All things considered I was half expecting him to disappear after a while, he really doesn't seem like the stay around type, but perhaps I misjudged him.

I managed to spend a few moments with Guinevere today, a miracle indeed! Hmmm...one good thing about feasts, she like all the servants is required to participate so at least I'll be able to look at her for a few hours and it'll be easier to speak with her. Who would have thought it would be so difficult?

Having said that, though, I hope Merlin is back on his feet soon, this Boris hasn't brought me my evening fruit bowl. And I even reminded him nicely! Sometimes people are just useless at their jobs.

Yesterday evening while finishing up patrol, I happened to run across Guinevere.

I was hoping we could spend some time together, I mean, things are somewhat different now, with Father not caring about...anything.

But, I guess not...Guinevere was uncomfortable about it, and I suppose I don't blame her. Still, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't depressed about it. It certainly made today's Council Meeting even more of a drag than usual.

Although, I think it'd really help if Merlin was at those meetings with his offical hat. Hmmmm...that's an idea...

Everything was back to normal yesterday, I discover firstly, it's unnaturally hot, searing in fact, training had to be cancelled it was that bad! I of course had put on all my armour and it was hot enough that I basically just had to flop down on the training fieldss and start peeling everything off.

And not five minutes later Morgana appeared! Young Morgana I mean....she wasn't very impressed with me. But...she certainly seemed to be concerned for me, er young me, I mean. Another reminder how much she cared.

And then Merlin threw me in the lake.

Thank God for Merlin...

Today on the other hand has been very quiet, although Gaius is concerned that Father isn't drinking enough water to combat this heat. Yet another worry.

Ugh, it's way too hot to write, I'm going to eat some fruit.

After yesterday's fun at the tavern I was in no state to be on a council meeting, at least that was my claim. Gaius, however, was of quite a different opinion and I suppose it wouldn't do to let down Lord Godwin just because I had a bit too much mead.

But I'll tell you who was useless today - or at least more useless than usual - Merlin. Good God, give that man a bit of cider and he's under the table! Gwaine and I had to carry him back to his room! And he hasn't shown up for his duties all day. Gaius mentioned something about him suffering his comeuppance, before he gave me a disgusting tasting potion and sent me on my way.

It'll be amusing to see my manservant tomorrow I can tell you that.

Lord Godwin, the Council and I discussed the consolidation of our resources with Cenred (the kingdom) being so unstable at present. Father did have a point when he mentioned that Lord Godwin's (and some day Elena's) lands were strategic. They'll certainly provide a place to keep a force in case one of the factions in Cenred decide to try something.

I wonder...should I be writing this? Can Morgana read it, I sure as Hell hope not. Perhaps I should try some sort of test? How, I'm not sure...aside from a few days ago there's been no word on either her or Morgause, hasn't been for months. And if she can see this, well...she can just not respond.

I should give up on this book all together. It's magic after all...

Yes, I finally got away from him after some three hours with precious little information. He went through about fifty books and half a dozen scrolls and a lot of mumbling and murmuring.

As far as I managed to figure out, Camelot's tournaments have always been hosted by someone in the Royal Family, except for that time Morgana did, but then she's my sister and even if she wasn't she lived in the castle most of her life. So all things considered I think I can just pick anyone who's has a long association with the palace.

Of course this is never easy...if I pick someone on the Coucil...well, I need a reson why I picked them and not someone else and they'll probably be all sorts of infighting that I can really do without.

Part of me wants to pick Guinevere! I think she would do a fine job, although she's never really cared all that much for tournaments. And it would put the nobles up in arms.

Still, tempting...very tempting.

Failing that, I could always select Merlin and be done with it. For the entertainment factor if nothing else.

Hmmm...possibilities.

Which would explain why I've had so much trouble finding her these past few days, despite Merlin giving me her schedule (with Morgana...gone she doesn't really have an offical post in the castle, which makes it hard to know where she'll pop up next). Today I finally had success, I thought we could have some strawberries together - especially after what I went through to get hold of them.

However, I found her on the verge of collaspe! I hope it's nothing serious, she said it wasn't bad enough to get Gaius involved, but I'm not sure...I'm thinking of sending him a message to go and see her tomorrow morning.

Gaius has been coming to my rescue a lot lately, I certainly haven't had to put up with Monmouth so much. It's a wonder he hasn't recieved any honours...not that I can actually think of any appropriate to give him. And of course, in order to find out if there are ones I'd have to...

Ask Monmouth.

I think I'll avoid that for a while.

Tomorrow is intensive training with the knights! I'm looking forward to it - as I'm sure they are. I have a good feelin about this.

As lon as Guinevere gets well soon...