... - 5th January 1008

  • Feb. 8th, 2012 at 10:54 PM
not_a_clotpole: (My About to Kill Someone Face)
Well, book, so you've decided to be strange again, life isn't getting any easier, you know, and now you throw ...this at me.

I have no patience for magic right now. I don't even want to hear it mentioned. Even if it is by people who aren't anywhere near where I am.

I have meetings tomorrow, in fact...I always have meetings, I don't need this.
not_a_clotpole: (My Thinking Face)
Yes, those...other mes, they disappeared as quickly as they arrived.

I'm not sure what to make of the fact I managed to keep Merlin completely unaware of their presence, honestly, I think as a servant he could do better. Still this really wouldn't have been a good time for Merlin to get professional.

Of course, having to babysit...myself for a whole day meant I didn't see Guinevere at all. Not even so much as a glimpse across the courtyard!

That situation had to be rectified today, and I'm pleased to say it was. After all, a good knight always succeeds in his mission.

Gaius told me today that Father has remained bedridden since the incident a few days ago, it's not exactly good news, but at least he isn't talking to 'ghosts'. I'm steeling myself to visit him tomorrow, I can only hope that he'll recognise me, I just don't know what to do when he doesn't recognise me or is under the impression that I'm someone else.

But then that might be too much to hope...

I'd rather not think about it.

There Are No Words... - 25th September 1007

  • Sep. 25th, 2011 at 11:54 PM
not_a_clotpole: (WTF?)
For what's currently going on.

I am forced to hide people in my own castle.

They are of course, not ordinary people.

They're...me.

Me as a child and me as an older man, a king. The King of Albion he says.

Which leads me to wonder if I'm going to go mad in my old age.

At first I didn't believe they were...me, because really of all the unbelievable things. But after a few questions I couldn't really deny it.

So now, I have to hide them and it's no easy feat keeping the younger me quiet, was I always such a pain?

The older me at least keeps quiet, but he keeps SMIRKING at me like I'm some sort of idiot. It's annoying.

According to the Duck people, this sort of thing happens all the time (just what I wanted to hear!) and they should go away eventually.

They better! Or God help me...
not_a_clotpole: (Bummer)
I could do without most of them, but this one in particular was awful, just awful. It was about Father, of course and how the chance of a full recovery was all but impossible, at least that was Gaius's opinion.

Which...well, is something he's never mentioned before, he hasn't exactly being optimistic about Father's condition of course, but he's never said there's no hope at all. It was like a blow from a lance.

And now the council is saying that a Regency Act has to be written and put into place sooner rather than later. Once this news gets out (as it no doubt will) I'll have no choice. I have to be Regent, I'm no longer temporarily filling in for my father, I am taking over from him.

Just writing this makes it all so...final.

Damnit.

Strange Visions... - 16th September 1007

  • Sep. 16th, 2011 at 10:24 PM
not_a_clotpole: (Broken)
There was a Mirror in the castle today. A mirror that wasn't like any mirror I've ever seen. It reflected things...things I'd rather not think about right now. Or maybe ever.

Of course, it's obviously some sort of enchantment, but I wasn't really thinking straight when I saw it and by the time I was the damn thing had disappeared. God only knows where, no-one seems to know anything about it, if I didn't know better I'd think I had imagined it, but it's not the sort of thing you'd forget.

I just hope it hasn't fallen into the wrong hands, although I'm not sure what the wrong hands could do with it anyway.

If only what I saw in it was true

Visiting Father - 14th September 1007

  • Sep. 14th, 2011 at 11:40 PM
not_a_clotpole: (Bummer)
He actually recognised me today, but I don't think it made much of a difference. He seemed to be under the impression that I was...I don't know, not real exactly? He kept talking like I had died many many years ago and he thought I was a ghost haunting him or something.

Then towards the end of the hour he started talking like it was thirty years ago and he wasn't king, he kept calling me Gorlois. It was very...unsettling, Lord Gorlois reminds me of Morgana (he was her father after all, or I don't know...) and I don't need to be reminded of Morgana.

The very last thing Father said to me before I left his room was that there all the birds were dying and soon none would be left. I have no idea what that even means, neither did Gaius when I asked him, as far as he could recall there's never been a widespread death of birds in the kingdom.

Tomorrow the Council reconvenes with our invited guests, who Father doesn't even have a clue about what is happening.

Sometimes I think he never will...and I'll have to take that final step. A few more weeks and I'm sure the Council will really start pushing the Regent option.

I don't want to think about it.
not_a_clotpole: (Oh God...)
After the high of winning the tournament (and the bizarreness that followed,ju as if what happened at the feast a few days ago - I'm a bit worried I might be hallucinating. Either that or this nexus thing is trying to drive me mad) I've had to go back to the Council Room.

Where I could have died of boredom today, really, I think it's a distinct possibility. I'm beginning to think I should have Merlin sit in on those meetings with me, if only to share the suffering. That's what a good servant does after all, share his master's burdens?

Plus the look on his face would really brighten up my day...

Possibilities...

I Don't Need This... - 3rd September 1007

  • Sep. 3rd, 2011 at 11:02 PM
not_a_clotpole: (Writing is Hard...)
So last night I had the most disturbing nightmare...it took me a while to realise that it was in fact a dream, though I would have thought that Father in a jester's hat and Guinevere planning to challenge me to a duel would have made it obvious.

But no, in fact, I didn't notice for what seemed like hours. So embarrassing.

It's not surprising I would dream of the tournament, it begins in just one week and I've hardly had any time to train. I have to get onto that first thing tomorrow, which means I should probably go to bed now.

I just pray I won't have to suffer through yet another dream...
not_a_clotpole: (Writing is Hard...)
The past two days have been exceptionally disturbing in all aspects.

And I swear if Merlin ever, ever says anything about what happened...there won't be enough hours in the day for the rotten fruit I will have thrown at him in the stocks.

Anyway, today was Guinevere's birthday, and I'm pleased to say I managed to get a lavender bush, shrub, plant for her...during my er, travels the past few days and if I may say so myself I think I really got it right this time. Despite Gwaine's less than glowing assessment of my gift, but honestly when has Gwaine ever had anything resembling taste.

Speaking of which, I encountered an...older Gwaine the other evening, I can't say the years made much of a difference in his alcohol consumption, but if it was a glimpse into the future I'm glad he's still around.

Not that I'd ever tell him that...

Oh God... - 26th August 1007

  • Aug. 26th, 2011 at 11:55 PM
not_a_clotpole: (Bummer)
Gaius found Father wandering the halls of the castle tonight. This is the first time he's been out of his room in months and sadly it was not an indication that he is feeling better. In fact he was all but raving, and God only knows how many servants he ran into before Gaius got to him. I mean, yes, everyone knows that Father is...not in a very good place at the moment, but actually seeing it? That's another thing altogether.

So now I have to worry not only about the leaders of other kingdoms and what they think, but what people of Camelot think as well. At this rate when Father recovers no-one will trust him to be able to rule once more.

Speaking of the other kingdoms...the invitations have been sent, hopefully everyone will agree to show up, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do if they don't.

And I also have Guinevere's birthday to think of, the only bright spot in otherwise dreary and disheartening week.

I could use some annoying by Merlin right now...where is he? He hasn't even turned down my bed covers yet! Lazy, incredibly lazy.

Oh God... - 19th August 1007

  • Aug. 19th, 2011 at 11:17 PM
not_a_clotpole: (Oh God...)
So, apparently it isn't enough that I have to be constantly on guard against strange forces that would rip me from my own time and place, now I have this... duck thing happening to me! I was just trying to draft an announcement for a tournament and suddenly there's a duck on the piece of parchment! It just showed up out of nowhere.

I don't need this...honestly I don't.

Sometimes...I fear for my sanity.
not_a_clotpole: (Oh God...)
I'm currently covered in some sort of salve given to me by Gaius.

And why? Because while I was out today attempting to get a lavender plant for Guinevere I somehow tripped and ended up in an ivy bush.

I pride myself on being the sort who doesn't somehow 'trip' that's more Merlin's style, but I suppose even the best of us can be let down by our own feet.

God help me though, I don't think Gwaine will ever let me live this one down.

He's yet to come back from night patrol, so I can comfort myself by being able to enjoy a little peace until then.
not_a_clotpole: (Bummer)
Although they're not in so many words, still there's no getting around it.

There's suggestion and rumours coming in that as a kingdom Camelot is weak, what with no King and no proclaimed Regent. Some of the older Council Members seem to think this is all the reason I need to basically overthrow my own father and claim the throne.

But how am I supposed to do that, bodily speaking Father is still relatively strong, he could live for years unless...one day he just decides not to eat until he starves. It's a disturbing possibility, so far he's gone without food for more than a week, but somehow Gaius always manages to make him eat again.

As for his mind...well, there's nothing good there, he just doesn't talk. And a King who won't speak is no king at all.

Something has to be done...but what?

Something For Guinevere - 13th August 1007

  • Aug. 13th, 2011 at 11:59 PM
not_a_clotpole: (My Thinking Face)
I feel like I need to do something for Guinevere, after she helped me last night - I'm afraid I got a bit...tipsy and made a complete ass of myself. (I'm sure Merlin would say business as usual).

So yes! Something for Guinevere. I'm terrible at this sort of thing, I'd ask for advice but I'm sure certain people would never let me live it down if I did.

But I have good sense...I'm sure I can come up with something.

Somehow...

And now...back to these reports...it's a never ending, I swear.

Father... - 21st July 1007

  • Jul. 21st, 2011 at 11:51 PM
not_a_clotpole: (Comforting Father)
He's stopped eating again, and because he never leaves his rooms it's almost impossible for them to be cleaned. Even the windows are filthy. The weather was beautiful today, perfect hunting weather in fact...but the sunlight could barely penetrate the room.

I was going to have them cleaned, but that only seemed to upset him.

All he wants is for Morgana to return. Which is completely impossible and if she ever did come back...well...

I didn't even have a chance to ask him about Uncle Agravaine.

Not that I think it would make a difference...he never told me about Uncle Tristan either. Not even when that wraith was here, killing knights.

I'll never understand Father...but I can't hate him, not now...not when he's like this. He's my father...

.... - 8th July 1007

  • Jul. 8th, 2011 at 2:04 PM
not_a_clotpole: (Writing is Hard...)
....

....

Am I back? I pray that I'm back. The castle looks like it should, my room looks like it should...

The view -

It's the same too!

And this stupid book is here too.

Thank GOD!!!!

I've just spent seven days in...I don't know where. The people said it was Camelot...it didn't look a thing like it! I didn't see a single familiar face.

The same couldn't be said for names. The king there claimed to be King Arthur! And his Queen...she was named Guinevere.

They were obviously imposters. And not very good ones if you ask me. It was almost insulting! Particularly the one who claimed to be Guinevere! She...I don't even know how to describe her! She was like Vivian!

And worst of all...

SINGING!

Everyone sang! At the strangest times! Just out on the street! At a tournament! Wherever! Obviously some sort of magic, it even affected me!

Unbelievably enough that wasn't even the worst part...I can't sing (although I don't think anyone noticed because they couldn't either!), but that was far better than having this... fake Guinevere try her wiles on me!

Actually, I think she tried her wiles on everyone! It was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm not sure what the so-called Arthur was doing when all this was going on.

But yes, I had to explain my presence and clothing somehow so I claimed I was Sir William of Deira, which worked well enough. Anyway...I was minding my own business when this fake Guinevere skipped on up to me and asked me ever so casually to kill Lancelot!

Not in so many words, of course, but that was the suggestion! I hadn't noticed Lancelot was even there, but apparently so...he didn't look like himself either. All the same I wasn't about to kill him!

I kept trying to wake up, maybe I should have got myself killed... But that probably wouldn't have worked, I'm sure Lancelot would have just reserrected me.

I don't even...

I don't want to think about this anymore, now that everything's back to normal, I just want to go to training and forget about it.

And don't sorcerers have better things to do?

25th June 1007

  • Jun. 25th, 2011 at 11:55 PM

Morgana.... - 23rd June 1007

  • Jun. 23rd, 2011 at 11:33 PM
not_a_clotpole: (Writing is Hard...)
She can read my book!

That's just what I need and is yet more evidence that I should get rid of it.

But...where would I put it? In the dungeons I suppose. Locked up somewhere...

I suppose I should.

She's probably reading this right now. Knows what I'm doing, what I'm thinking. It's a tactical nightmare!


Right...yes, give up the book.

It's not like it's caused me anything but trouble.
not_a_clotpole: (What the Hell is this Crap?!)
What I saw last night on patrol.

It was a dragon.

A singing dragon.

Why was a dragon singing? Why was there even a dragon (I killed the last one years ago!)? God only knows!

I can only assume I was dreaming...or it was some sort of...visual trick, because a singing dragon? Really?

I wonder if Gwaine was playing some sort of joke on me, I wouldn't put it past him and I'm sure there's a potion out there that makes you see things.

Or maybe I was just tired...

Either way I'm going to take Gwaine down at training tomorrow. He deserves it anyway.

Problems, problems... - 15th June 1007

  • Jun. 15th, 2011 at 11:22 PM
not_a_clotpole: (My Thinking Face)
With the arrangements of the touranment that is. For one thing who's going to host it? Someone has to, but God knows who. I certainly can't (if I'm going to participate and I will). I don't have Father or Morgana to assist. I don't know who's next in the line of...tournament hosting duties. The only one who can tell me that is...Monmouth.

It was a fun few days of avoiding him I suppose.

God I hope it's not him! We'll never actualy get a chance to compete if that's the case!

Maybe...hopefully, I can just nominate someone myself.

I think I'll pick Gaius, he can be a man of few words when necessary...

This better work out!

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